We are thankful to have Tracy Nelson as part of our community. This week, she shared with us what wearing a cross means to her and what it doesn't mean.
That tiny silver cross I wear around my neck most days is not for you.
By wearing it, I'm not advertising that my way is the right way, or even the better way.
I'm not proclaiming to the world with it that I've cornered the market on morality, or self discipline, or goodness.
It is not a conservative pledge, a political statement, or a declaration of solidarity with right wing crazies who fear and shun that which is unfamiliar.
It's not a claim to complete understanding of how this world, with its infinite intricacies, was created, or how it will end.
My little silver cross is not a judgement, or a patronizing, smug token of tolerance for beliefs other than my own.
It's not for you. It's for me.
So when I feel it between my fingers, rough and familiar, blunt on the edges after all these years, I am reminded of this: there are mysteries greater than I am, and I happily surrender to the the Great Unknown, and give my troubles over to it.
I feel that little piece of worn out metal and it's a solid reminder that I do not have all the answers, I'm not supposed to. I feel the chain that has a bent loop and the little nick at the top of the cross where it was injured one day and remember that imperfection is part of the beautiful, bigger picture that I cannot see, am not meant to see, from my vantage point.
Don't assume you know me because I wear it.
Don't assume that I'm trying to say something to you with a piece of jewelry that I can't say with my words.
It's meant for my fingers, for my heart. Such a little bit of old silver, but it gives me huge comfort, as all magical talismans are meant to.
Written by: Tracy Nelson
Another article written by Tracy for CToBM: Hello, Thanks, and a Short Essay